Women’s sexuality is a hard topic. We’re all taught from a young age that virginity is a virtue, but next minute we’re heading off to the school toilet block, wide-eyed and giggling to read the sealed section in Cosmo. Mix in a bit of slut shaming, porn culture and a myriad of other things and is it any wonder that many of us are so disconnected from our own bodies and sexuality?
Ally Hay is a wellness coach with a difference. She focuses on connecting women to their personal power, enjoying their vaginas and feeling confident to explore their own bodies and their own personal pleasure. We got to chat with Ally, and find out EXACTLY what this inspirational woman has to say about woman’s sexuality.
Sans Pareil – What initially got you into this line of work?
Ally Hay – I studied and qualified as a health coach and went on to study and qualify as a life coach. In my health coaching business, I was working with women as I feel like we have SO much untapped magic to bring to this world; and I find so much joy in seeing the incredible results my clients have. Female sexuality has always been a huge passion of mine and something which I’ve done a lot of work around. I was sexually abused by my father at age 3 and this was a dominating storyline played out through my childhood. It had a lot of shame, disgust and disrespect for my own womanly body and sexuality. When I began to transform this, the game changed for me! I owned it. I accepted it and I truly stepped into my power as a woman and a leader.
SP – What is the biggest challenge women face when it comes to their own sexuality?
AH – I believe it is shame and disconnection to their yoni/pussy/vagina. Women often feel like they need permission to explore this sacred part of their bodies. Girls and women don’t often feel confident to feel sexy or sexual just for them. It often comes back to being about the other person and fulfilling someone else’s needs. Honestly, there are so many factors. Sexual trauma, difficulty receiving, not feeling comfortable to discuss it with their girlfriends. This is how I get to help women.
SP – How does the media help or hinder women when it comes to sex?
AH – Great question! This is a big issue in a world of media overload. There are so many ideals and imaging fed to women of “how it should look/feel/sound” and how women are “allowed” to feel/look sexy according to societies standards. This can be very detrimental to women as they are trying to discover pleasure. There is also a strong, negative cultural programming in the west of what it means sexually liberated woman.
SP – Who inspires you?
AH – Wow, so many women! Strong, everyday women who are shifting the paradigm and choosing something different for themselves. My clients and their commitment to themselves and their pleasure- This REALLY lights me up and inspires me! Leaders who are standing up for women’s rights and speaking out on important issues which cant be ignored any longer. As far as individuals go, I love Layla Martin who is an incredible advocate for female pleasure!
I am a Mum too, so all mothers and parents doing their thang and raising epic little humans day in and day out are a huge inspiration to me!
SP – What is one key lesson women beginning their self-discovery journey could start with?
AH – You have FULL permission and every right to experience pleasure and enjoying your sexuality. Experiment with different textures on your skin, read a raunchy novel, breathe deeply and be present with your partner. If you are feeling overwhelmed and like you don’t know where to start, reach out. I am always more than happy to support women. This journey to connecting to your sexuality will change every aspect of your life. (Your sexual energy is directly connected to your creativity and finances for example).
SP – What would you like to achieve most through your work?
AH – I want to support women in the most transformational journey home to themselves. My wish is for all women to feel so confident and proud of their amazing bodies, use their powerful voices and birth their big, beautiful visions into the world. The sexually empowered woman is a force. An abundant, potent and loving seed who will bloom in every area of her life and hold the torch for her sisterhood to do the same.
Connect with Ally:
FB: Divine Wellness with Ally Hay www.facebook.com/divinewellnessnz