I am a keen environmentalist although not without flaws. I prefer to describe myself as a flexetarian, or more accurately a sober veggie, because morals are quickly replaced by a duo of double whoppers with cheese after a few ales.
It’s pretty evident that we just cannot keep annihilating resources at the current rate and treating the planet like our own game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Worse still is that it’s not taken seriously, or flat out denied. But that’s another topic, for another time…
So I try to do my part to help and encourage everyone to find their own balance of what they’re prepared to change.
When my friend, Alice, mentioned moon cups to me I was intrigued for a number of reasons:
- Composting and reducing packaging/plastic bags is one thing – but waste free menstruation is some next level shit
- Tampons are classed as medical devices so there is no labeling requirement for ingredients. The debate rages on dioxins & insecticides. I wouldn’t even dip my toe into the murky waters of that debate, but I’m keen to leave my vagina out of it too
- Sanitary products are classed as non-essential items so we get taxed on them. I’m gonna vote with my feet on this one – added bonus, boycotting makes me feel a little bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman…
If you’re similarly intrigued but feel intimidated, lemme break it down for you.
Day 1
2pm – Woohoo, it’s time… Never been so excited by a visit from Aunt Flo
2:15pm – OK that was weird & uncomfortable
2:30 – Wiggle around on my chair, can’t get comfy
3pm – Quick bathroom check – no leaks on this ship!
3:30 – Wiggle around on my chair some more – god damn it
4pm – Quick bathroom check – all good
4:45pm – Mentally preparing to leave chair & walk around
4:50 – Perfected the wiggle walk 6:11pm – Text my friend/Vagina Yoda, Alice for advice
8pm – Removing the mooncup. This was the absolute worst! Genuinely felt like it was going to pull my womb out with it
8:15pm – Decide to persevere & pop that sucker back in
Day 2
6:30am – Removing the mooncup, part 2. This will be easier this time
6:45am – Nope!
7am – Screw it, I’m going out tonight. Not dealing with this shit drunk. Back to the dioxin laced tampon
8am – Still feeling tender. Better text Alice again. Love having a “is my vagina normal” guru buddy
Day 3
6:30am – OK, deep breath. Stem trimmed – ready to rock!
5pm – Much better! No leaking, no uncomfortable wiggling
7pm – Removing the mooncup, part 3. Much easier
Day 4 & 5
Overall thoughts
It does take some getting used to, but worth persevering with.
Ick factor? It’s definitely not as dainty & polite as pulling on a string & flushing away. You do have to get up there, and get “well acquainted” with your vagina , but that’s no bad thing. And you do have a much better understanding of your own body, and your own flow cycle. It’s not nearly as “icky” as you’re probably imagining
Tips
- Trim the stem a little bit each day until it’s comfortable
- It doesn’t need to be pushed up like a tampon. Have it sit as low as you can
- Find your own technique for removing. You need to break the suction or it’s going to feel sore
- Trim your nails!
- Persevere, it may take up to 3 cycles to get used to
So have at it ladies. Fuck the (tax)man, embrace your bodies, and you’ll never need to buy, or throw away, another sanitary product again.Check out more from Charlie here at www.radiohysteric.com
